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Losing a loved one is one of the most difficult things that can happen to a person, and the idea of moving on to start dating again can feel impossible. Some people decide to never be in a relationship again, and they even follow through with it. Others, however, jump back into dating.
Most often this can be done as a way to help mend a broken heart, the hope being that they can find a new partner to move beyond the loneliness and grief that the loss of their partner brought on. It’s common to think you may be betraying your deceased partner when doing this, too.
Dating after losing your spouse is always a tricky situation, and there’s never an easy solution to it. However, it is important to remind yourself that finding love and happiness doesn’t mean you are replacing what you once had, nor are you forgetting about your spouse.
Everyone, no matter what they have been through, deserves to be happy and to be with someone. Fortunately, widow dating is a niche market of online dating that makes this process easier for recent widows and widowers. Whether you are a young or old widow/er, read on to learn more.
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How does widower dating work?
Widow or widower dating is an online dating service that caters exclusively to people who have lost a spouse or loved one and are looking to move on with a new partner. This doesn’t always mean that members are interested in marriage, but they do want a serious relationship with other members.
Widow dating is exactly like a normal online dating service, except that its members are the surviving partner in either a marriage or a long-lasting relationship of some sort. All members are familiar with loss and death, and everyone deals with their grief in their own unique way.
Simply sign up and create a profile, search for members who are a match for you, and start reaching out to see who else is interested.
Rather than treating relationships as a form of taboo for those who are widowed, these dating services work to give people a fresh chapter on life and to either remarry or find a life partner once again.
People who use these services are generally more understanding of your situation because they are going through a similar process. You can feel free to be as open as you are comfortable with being about your loss.
What about dating for young widows?
Many widow dating services may seem as if they cater to an older crowd. It can be one of the first things you find when you search for the online dating service, after all. However, this is not truly the case, and there are a good number of online widow dating services for people of all ages.
In the end, widows and widowers are people who are going through the same experience regardless of their age. While how they deal with grief can vary from person to person, it is true that one’s age does not severely change how men and women generally respond to loss.
For younger widows who don’t want to date older people, there are still plenty of options available to you. For one, you can use a young widow dating service that specifically focuses on a younger age group. Another option is to simply filter your searches by age to find someone within your age range.
Regardless of how you approach it, there are plenty of opportunities for young widows and widowers to meet someone new.
What to keep in mind when you start widow dating online?
There is no universal guide for getting started with dating again after you lose your spouse. However, there are some pretty clear ideas on what you can do to begin this process the right way:
- Wait until you feel ready to start dating again – Overcoming your grief can take any amount of time, and for many people they may never truly move beyond it. Processing grief is a unique experience for everyone and there’s no such thing as a time frame for it. The important thing is that you shouldn’t let others tell you when to move on to something new, and you shouldn’t force yourself to start dating again if you aren’t ready for it. Wait for the right time. That is, wait until you are comfortable with the idea of dating someone new. You may even have to try a date to see if it is right for you at this time.
- Understand why you want to date again – Just as how you shouldn’t rush into dating after losing a spouse, you should consider what it is you want out of a new relationship after you have processed your grief to the point you are comfortable dating again. It’s okay to date because you are lonely or want some company. Try to avoid doing it just to fill a void, as you may end up hurting yourself or the other person in the process.
- You will feel guilt – As you start to date again after losing a spouse, you will inevitably feel as if you are cheating on your spouse. You may even feel some sort of pressure or judgement from your friends and ex-friends for trying to move on. Know this: dating again is not wrong. You have every right in the world to do so and no one has a say in when you may or may not start again. If you continue to feel guilty though, consider pausing your dating life until you feel better about doing it.
- Avoid using your date as a therapist – It is important in every relationship to be honest, and telling your new dating partner about how you felt for your deceased spouse is okay. However, you should be aware that you can’t spend your entire date talking about your ex-spouse. Feel free to talk to them as openly as you want to, but remember to focus on your date as well.
- Plan ahead – Everyone carries a burden with them that is tied to memories that are both good and bad. But we cannot grow and survive by fixating on this past, and it is important to look ahead and make a plan for where we want to go and what we want do. When you do start dating again, focus on what it is they hope to do for the future and consider what you would like to do with your life ahead of you.
Which is the right widow dating service?
Finding the right online widow dating service for you can be tricky, and typically involves a lot of trial and error over whether you like their dating features, if the members are what you are looking for, and if there are any additional things about the site that seem appealing to you.
Generally, the more features a widow dating site offers you the better. Whether this is just chatting or includes options for organizing or taking part in a larger meetup can vary per site. Look for what fits your needs and you are comfortable with.
Looking for dating sites that are a little out there? Check out some of the weirdest dating sites on the web!
The most important thing is to take this process slow. Don’t rush into an online widow dating service if you aren’t ready for a new relationship. When you are ready, take the step that is right for you and don’t be afraid to start a new relationship. You are entitled to be happy again, after all.
Widow Dating FAQ
Dating after having lost a loved one can be a tumultuous experience, and trying to start a relationship with someone whose loved one has passed on can be a trying time. To help make this easier, we’ve answered some of the most frequently asked questions.
When to start dating after becoming a widow or widower?
This is an extremely personal question, and will depend on how comfortable you feel. There’s no need to rush out to find someone, and you shouldn’t put yourself into the world dating again if you aren’t ready to be looking to date someone else again. You really need to take the time that is necessary.
There’s not generic time frame to give you, but at least wait a year at the earliest to start thinking about it. This is again flexible, but we do feel that giving yourself the right amount of time to grieve and come to terms with what has happened is important.
Is widow dating for seniors?
Not just seniors, although there are many users on these services who are older. These kinds of dating websites and apps are for anyone who has lost a spouse or life partner and is looking to find love again as they move on. They all share in that traumatic experience, and can be of any age.
How to make dating while you or your partner have children?
Dating while you have kids can be a tricky thing in and of itself. The best thing you can do if either you or your date have children, or both, is to take their opinions seriously and listen to what they have to say. Accepting a new mother or father is hard, and both you and your date need to respect that.
Don’t force a relationship if there is tension between your date and the kids, or if there is tension between you and their kids. It won’t go well in the long run if you push it, and may be better to give everyone more time.