Everything You Need to Know Before You Get into Swinging

On the face of it, swinging sounds exciting, rewarding and sexy. However, while it might appear to be the epitome of free-living, swinging comes with its own set of rules. Many couples fall at the first hurdle because they’re unaware of how the lifestyle works – which can result in separation or even divorce.

If you’re feeling penned in by traditional, vanilla values and expectations, swinging might be for you. However, if you’re going to make it work, you need to be sure that your partner feels the same way, and is as keen to take on this lifestyle as you are.

When it comes to swinging or swinging sites, the absolute cornerstone of making it successful is complete honesty between you and your partner. Yes, this might result in a few awkward conversations and even some dented pride, but the rewards can be worth it.

While honesty is everything, there are some other considerations to take into account. The more you understand at the beginning, the more rewarding the experience can be.

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How to start the ball rolling

The first step towards getting into swinging is the all-important first conversation. Many couples get into swinging, not because they don’t love each other or want to be intimate with each other anymore, but because they want to sleep with other people without the deceit of a covert, illicit affair or the potential to split up. These are some of the benefits enjoyed by a swinger couple.

If your partner is unaware that you’re thinking of swinging, then you might have some work on your hands. Here are a few ideas to break the ice and get the conversation started.

• Discuss your respective sexual fantasies, as honestly as you can. If his or hers happen to involve other people, you can, at a later date, raise the subject again – this time as a possibility. Don’t rush in though, as you risk shutting the conversation down before it’s started.

• Watch some porn together that involves swinging. Afterwards, or even during, ask your partner if the idea turns them on. Again, raise the subject at a later date.

• Roleplay a swinging situation and see how it makes your partner feel.

• Watch a swinging documentary together and see how your partner reacts. These can often give you some extra background information on the pros and cons of the swinging lifestyle.

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How to get into swinging

If you’ve got to the point where you and your partner both agree that swinging is what you both want, then there are other things you’ll need to know.

• Set your boundaries. This is the next awkward conversation you’re going to have, but one of the most important. If you’re comfortable with performing oral sex but your partner isn’t, then some rules have to be drawn up. While these rules can change, it’s vital that you stick to them to begin with.

• Join a swingers’ site. While you might be tempted to snoop around and see what’s on offer, you are part of a unit and it’s important that you behave like one. Look at users’ profiles together and discuss honestly what you like and what you don’t. Make you know how to flirt on swingers sites.

• Start out by looking at what swinger’s clubs have to offer. If you’re not entirely sure that this is right for you, then swingers’ clubs provide a safe and secure environment in which you can see what goes on. Don’t get involved on your first outing. Wait until you get home and discuss how you both feel.

The rules of swinging

While they might appear as if anything goes to the eyes of the uninitiated, swingers’ parties can be a minefield unless you know the rules. Here are some of the most important, to set you on the right path.

• While you might feel like getting drunk to take the nerves off, you’re far better to turn up sober and get chatting with other swingers. By all means, enjoy a drink or two but know your limits.

• Set the bar relatively low. You might expect to find yourself in the middle of a full-blown orgy, but this isn’t guaranteed. Go, expecting some mild interaction and you’ll come away pleasantly surprised. However, if you’re expecting to find yourself in a full-on sexual encounter on your first outing, you’re likely to be disappointed.

• Always ask before getting involved. While it might look as though it’s a free-for-all, swingers’ etiquette demands that you ask before you touch, let alone anything else.

• ‘No’ means no. If your query is declined, don’t take it personally. Just as you and your partner have set boundaries, so have other couples. Politely respect them.

• Women set the pace. Whether you’re male or female and want to become intimate with a woman, her rules go.

• Practice safe sex. Take condoms, lube and anything else that minimises the spread of STIs and unwanted pregnancy. Swinging is supposed to be fun, so do everything you can to keep it that way.