Going through divorce is a traumatic and exhausting experience for both partners, especially when you’ve had a Christian marriage and feel strongly about what the Bible says about divorce. However, it does happen and remarriage is a viable, fine option for Christians.
Starting a new relationship is perfectly acceptable by God, so long as you follow it under the guidance of Christianity and make it a faith-based relationship. Fortunately for you, there are many options for dating to meet Christians online and offline.
In this article, we’ll talk about when you should date again after divorce, why you need to heal before you start dating, some things you should be aware of as a Christian dating, and how you can juggle difficult family dynamics going forward. Read on to learn more!
What do I need to know?
When should you start dating again after a divorce?
As a divorced Christian, you may have a lot of questions about where you are at, how you can start moving forward, and what the implications are for being divorced. As a Christian man or woman, you should trust God and know that you aren’t being punished for wanting to love.
As far as dating again as a Christian, there is no set time either in the Bible or Biblically that allows for you to either date again or not. The truth is that the timing for when you should date again lies entirely on your shoulders and depends on how comfortable you are with it.
This depends on your own divorce recovery, which is how you deal with the process of the divorce and can get to a state where you feel confident and self-sufficient again. This is because dating relationships require you to be emotionally and mentally okay.
The only real concern you should have here is whether you want to date again, and whether you feel like you are able to start looking. Don’t push your divorce and any leftover feelings from your last relationship onto the new one. This is a chance for a fresh start, after all.
Once you are comfortable and feel good about the idea of being with someone new, that’s when we would recommend taking the next steps forward. Of course, with children that can be trickier, but the bottom-line for a relationship will still lie with you.
Why healing before starting to date again is important
For a divorced person who believes in the teachings of Christ and God’s word, the end of your first marriage can be devastating. It can make you question your beliefs and whether you were wrong or not to see the relationship end.
Whether you are now a single woman or man, you’ll need to look into divorce care and getting your life into a stable point again. If not for yourself, then for any loved ones you have with you who may be relying on your stability, such as children or elderly.
Rest assured that you are okay to date again and to even fall in love with someone after you’ve been divorced. Even if religious institutions don’t look favorably on divorce, it is nevertheless a reality and is sometimes truly for the best for everyone involved.
That means that you shouldn’t be worried about any religious ramifications for being divorced. If you are concerned, you can speak with your pastor or priest about your situation and what you can do going forward. You can rely on them to discuss your concerns with.
These can include the idea that you may eventually want to move on to a new relationship. They should support you in this and caution you to take the time to care for yourself before moving forward.
Additionally, healing is important to ensure that your future relationships work out, and aren’t burdened with emotional baggage or trauma from your previous marriage. You don’t want to unintentionally blame your new partner for things your ex did, of course.
Finding a new soulmate should be an exciting, happy experience. It can be difficult and sometimes even painful, but you should make sure that you are fully past your old relationship and able to move on before attempting to. If you don’t, it won’t work.
What you should be aware of when re-entering the dating scene
For a divorced woman or man looking to start a new healthy relationship, there’s actually quite a few new things about the dating scene to be aware of. Primarily, it’s that online dating sites and apps have become the number one way for people to meet new people.
Of course, there are the usual ways of meeting a Godly man or woman offline and in real life, including through church, local events, holiday celebrations, bars, and more. You may even be questioning whether you should start dating online as a Christian and if it is okay to do so.
The dating scene has shifted as such that most people try multiple ways of meeting new people. This includes both offline and online. There are also many specific services that cater exclusively to Christian singles, giving you peace of mind for a relationship based on faith.
There are also red flags to be aware of, which includes trying to scam others out of personal information or financial data. You can keep yourself safe by not sharing personal info with people online and never sending money.
Don’t fret too much about being divorced or even dating when you have kids already. You aren’t the only person who is in this situation and many people don’t mind or are just happy to be dating you.
The dating scene can feel like it moves a bit faster, with matchmaking and people showing interest in you faster than ever before. However, you control who you contact and reach out to, and you are free to respond to whoever catches your eye.
Find a service that works for you and keep looking locally. It never hurts to keep your options open and to find something that works for you.
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How to deal with difficult family dynamics after divorce
Life after divorce is tricky for anyone, Christian singles included. This is even more the case as a single parent who has to juggle the kids with their old significant other. The important thing to remember in this case is that the kids do come first, and their well-being is a priority.
That means setting aside your differences with your ex to come up with a working relationship that you can have with your family. Your children will need time to adjust to the new situation and will be going through their own trauma.
Trying to help them as you deal with your own emotional pain is not easy, and so it’s vital for you to reach out to friends, family, and your church for any help or advice that they can offer. Sometimes just lending an ear to hear you out can be more than enough.
For people who are remarried and possibly finding themselves in a new blended family, this dynamic requires an all new kind of adjustment for everyone involved as new relationships are navigated and established.
The important thing here is to take your time and give everyone the space they need. You can’t brute-force a family to bond with one another, especially when they are just getting used to one another. Be patient, open-minded, and mediate as best you can.
If you are a senior who has divorced and turned to Christian dating, you may have to navigate how your family reacts if they are older. It won’t require as much patience or nurturing on your part, as they are most likely adults now, but don’t demand they accept it immediately.
Always take your time and work through the issues as they come up. This is the best way to approach a family that is learning to move on, learning how to bond, and learning how to adjust.
FAQ Christian dating after a divorce
When a marriage fails you may be feeling as if you are at a loss for what God’s plan is for you. However, just because your marriage ended in divorce does not mean that you aren’t entitled to your own happiness, and may lead you to someone who is your true soulmate.
This is why dating as a Christian after divorce is okay, as it is a chance for you to find your true loved one and happiness. To help you take those first steps, we’ve answered some of the most frequently asked questions.
When should a Christian start dating after divorce?
As a Christian woman or man, you may start off after your divorce thinking that you will never find love again. That’s not true at all, and you can start looking for a new partner or to date again as soon as you are comfortable and interested.
We do advise you to take some time and adjust to your new situation, particularly if you have kids who need to understand and adapt to their new living arrangements. However, as long as you are comfortable with dating, there’s no reason not to go forward with it.
Does the first relationship after divorce last?
The second time you start a serious relationship can inevitably be caught up with uncertainty about whether it will last or not, given how your first marriage ended. However, each relationship is a new partnership with equal opportunities and chances to last a lifetime.
Don’t assume that because the first marriage ended, so too will a second relationship, or even the one after that. Treat each one separately and uniquely, with the respect each deserves and your odds of it lasting will be much higher.
Is dating after divorce adultery?
No, it is not. Relations with someone other than the partner you are devotional to is considered adultery. However, once you are a single man or woman, you are no longer committing adultery as you are no longer married to that person.
If you are feeling uncertain about this, speak to your local pastor or priest for guidance and direction on how you can proceed.
Is it OK to date someone going through a divorce?
Yes, but it’s not exactly something everyone smiles at. It’s a gray area in terms of whether it is accepted or not socially, and is generally not accepted from a religious point of view, as that person is still married until they are officially divorced.
Once the divorce is finalized and they are separated, that’s of course acceptable and okay.