What Do MILFs Want? Catching Older Women’s Interest

Published: November 3, 2021
Updated: February 9, 2023
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If you’re one of many young men who find that women their own age don’t do it for them, and would rather hook up or even seriously date 40 to 60 year-old women, you’ll first need to catch their attention. You’ll need to know their interests in you, what they expect, and more.  

Taking your dating with older ladies to new heights requires you to play to your strengths and to the things that they’re missing in their own lives. In this article, we’ll cover what MILFs are looking for in younger men, how you can win their hearts, and more about cougars and cubs.

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What are MILFs looking for in younger men?

Typically, when young guys and older women date with an age difference between them, it can be known as a “cougar-cub” relationship that revolves around an active sex life between mature women and younger men. But MILFs and older women in general want more.

They don’t want you just for your youth, after all. There’s the important element of what they can feel out of the relationship. Knowing this and how that works can do wonders for how you date a MILF successfully

See, as a younger guy you don’t necessarily have more to offer than some old man might. However, neither do they have more to offer than you do. If that were the case, MILFs and cougars would simply think “why not just date men my age?”

Really, as a young man you’ve got a different set of attributes to offer. The trick to really getting a MILF interested in you, whether it’s for a hookup or a long-term relationship, is to play to these strengths of yours and compliment what she has to offer: 

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How can you win a MILF’s heart

Whether older ladies are dating male partners such as a young guy like yourself for the first time or have done this dance before, you can do yourself a favor by learning how to read the room with them. Learn to get a gauge on what they’re looking for and how receptive they are.

Their own life experience far outweighs your own, so play up that need for guidance by flirting with them and letting them take the reigns. Let them know that you notice them and are more than interested, and follow their lead in conversation and more. 

You can also show them the appeal and interest they’re looking for as an older woman on the hunt for younger guys by complimenting them on their looks, charm, and appeal. You don’t need to be nearly as coy with them either, but don’t be blunt either. 

Odds are they may be on the lookout for casual sex with someone younger than themselves, so as long as you are interested and play your cards right you can ensure a good chance for yourself. Of course, if you want a serious relationship that may take more work. 

Learn how you can make a MILF dating with single moms work for you!

Assuming you’ve already started a casual relationship with an older woman, you can begin to shift this into a real, loving romance by putting in more of an effort to get to know her. Learn about her passions and hobbies, what her goals are, and what makes her happy. 

Learn to be involved in her life outside of a sexual relationship and date her to get to know who she was, is, and wants to be. Let her into your own life as well, and be open enough to accept her interest and input on the direction you can take your future into. 

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What to expect from a cougar-cub relationship

Cougars are essentially older women, or MILFs, that go out intentionally looking for a younger guy to date. It refers to the aggressive nature that they go out looking for a relationship, and often indicates that the relationship is more of a sexual one. 

If you’re thinking of arrangements between older women and younger guys, a bit of give and take, then this is more along the lines of a sugar momma dating. There’s a lot of overlap with sugar momma dating and with how cougar-cub relationships work, but they are different.

For one, a healthy relationship between a cougar and a cub is more balanced than the arrangements sometimes created by sugar mommies and sugar babies. The cub in these cases, or young guy, isn’t really reliant on the cougar as a provider. 

Of course, as an older woman she’ll still be taking the lead in your sex life, but that’s not a given. It may also just be a one-night stand or a friends-with-benefits kind of situation. It depends on what you two agree on. 

Generally, you can expect that a cougar-cub relationship will be sexual in nature with her taking the reins more often than not. You may have to agree to her rules about how you two meet up as well, in the off chance that she is already married. 

Can you meet a MILF’s expectations?

You may think dating someone who is in an age group that feels grown-up is daunting, but the truth is that it may be easier for you to meet a MILF’s expectations than you think. For one, as a young guy who is reasonably attractive, you are meeting her sexual desires. 

Of course, that’s assuming she’s interested with you to begin with. But if she is, especially over older men, then you’re already more than there for meeting her expectations. Just be yourself and enjoy the experience. 

Most MILFs who date younger guys aren’t looking for them to fulfill a role other than being the young, active, and eager guys that they naturally are. You may have to treat her with a big more respect than you think, but as long as she is receptive, don’t worry too much. 

Be confident with your approach and make sure you are comfortable with the direction your dating is going in. 

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Dating tips for cougar-cub relationships

Many young guys won’t necessarily have the kind of experience that older women might have. Not to worry though, as there’s plenty you can work on before you even start to give yourself the best chance at a working cougar-cub relationship before you even start: 

1. MilfFinder

MilfFinder is a dating site that connects you to MILFs all over the world. Fictional characters are used for entertaining purposes. You can sign up for free, browse member profiles, or adjust your preferences by using simple search filters like gender, age range, and location. 

2. SilverSingles

SilverSingles caters to users who want to date 50+ singles. The service places a high priority on giving its users compatible matches and places a strong emphasis on social values, professional backgrounds, and religious beliefs.

3. eharmony

With over 10 million users and considered the number one dating site in the US, eharmony may be the one for you. The site’s detailed matchmaking questionnaire makes sure you can actually get along with your potential matches. Since the site may be expensive, users are mostly of older age and take dating seriously.

FAQ about what MILFs want

Dating a MILF or cougar is largely about fulfilling their sexual desires and wishes for giving them better self-esteem by making them feel young again. However, that’s not to say it can be something more than that. It truly depends on what you both want with each other. 

To help give you a better handle on going forward, we’ve answered some of the most frequently asked questions about what MILFs want, where you can meet them, and what you can expect.

What does a MILF want?

MILFs who are receptive to dating younger guys, aka cougars, are looking for fun and excitement with someone who can make them feel beautiful, sexy, and even young again. It’s a largely sexual relationship when it’s a cougar-cub relationship. 
They often want a man who is active, attractive, energetic, and receptive to them taking the lead in a relationship. They also want someone complimenting them, and fulfilling their own sexual urges when, where, and however they may want. 

How does what a MILF wants differ from younger women?

Dating a MILF can often be the fulfillment of a sexual fantasy of dating someone older and more mature. She may also see being with you as a validation of her own beauty and ability to still catch a man’s attention. 
She’ll also have her life well-established, and is in charge and so she won’t want you to participate as a partner in moving forward in her own personal and professional life. A younger woman may expect you to be more involved with that. 
Younger women on the other hand may still be at a point in their own lives where they are figuring things out. They may not be sure if they want a casual relationship or a serious one, and they may not have the same kind of financial security that older women have. 
This means that you won’t have to be as involved in financially supporting an older woman, as she’s more likely to take care of you than the other way around. 

Which dating sites are best for older women dating to meet younger partners?

Young people, specifically men dating older women, have quite a few options to enjoy online dating. The same is true in the reverse as well for older ladies that want to date a cub. As such, we would recommend the following: 
Older women dating

What should I do to avoid any problems when I’m dating a MILF?

Avoid being too active on social media about it, in case she wants to be discreet. You should also avoid making demands or expectations on her for a serious relationship if she’s not interested. Be aware that an age gap does mean that there can be misunderstandings too. 
Be open minded and flexible with her as you date, and take each thing one step at a time.