How do you find a lesbian relationship on online dating sites?

Published: March 2, 2021
Updated: May 23, 2022
interracial lesbian couple cuddling on bed

Whether you’re gay, straight or lesbian, the Internet is saturated with hookup sites and virtual corners where the onus isn’t on Mr or Miss Right, but Mr or Miss Right Now. However, if you signed up to a lesbian dating site for the lookout for something more meaningful or long-term, knowing where to go can be difficult.

The lesbian community has taken a quieter stance than that of their out-and-proud gay counterparts. As a result, you might find it harder to find websites devoted to encouraging meaningful connections between lesbian women. However, there are some out there!

If you want to enjoy a romantic film night with your lesbian date, read our list of the best LGBT movies.

lesbian couple kissing in public

The trick is to know what you’re after before you set sail. Online dating offers a range of benefits for lesbians, whether the closet is a distant memory or you’re taking your first tentative steps towards embracing your sexual identity.

The most practical benefit is that online dating allows you to engage with other lesbians at your own pace. With anonymity on your side, you can interact with other gay women at the pace that suits you best and establish a genuine connection, before meeting face-to-face.

If you’re looking for a meaningful lesbian relationship and don’t quite know where to start, read on for some well-informed tips to getting the ball rolling.

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What exactly are you looking for?

Think of online dating, and you tend to think of casual sex. However, there are plenty of lesbian-centric dating sites where the onus is on something more substantial. If you’re after something that’s going to last beyond the bedroom, here are some sites worth checking out:

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Elite Singles

Elite Singles employs an online personality test to match you up with women with similar interests, cultural backgrounds and points of view. While it might seem like a bit of a faff to fill it out, the personality test can put you in touch with people you might otherwise overlook.

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This site is devoted exclusively to lesbians. The beauty of this is that the ‘L’ word isn’t a talking point; everyone who uses it is there for the same reason. An ideal site for those who are new to the world of online lesbian dating.

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While this site caters to all sexualities, you can specify the gender you want to date. With the net being cast slightly wider than lesbian-specific dating sites, you may encounter bi-curious women, as well as dyed-in-the-wool lesbians. This is an excellent site for those who are unsure where their sexual loyalties lie.

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Facebook and Instagram

Each of these social media platforms allows you to make contact with lesbians without having to go through the rigmarole of signing up and subscribing to a dating site. The downside is that safety protocols are a lot less stringent. Best for those comfortable in their own skin.

In this article we break down which lesbian dating apps are worth trying and what you can expect.

Long-term love comes at a cost

While you might consider jumping on a social media platform or signing up to a lesbian dating service as a free member, the truth is that, to get the most out of your lesbian online dating, you’ll probably need to subscribe.

A paid membership allows you to interact with other users freely, view their profiles and send private messages. However, the main benefit is that paid subscriptions carry their own security protocols. With these in place, you have a supremely safe environment in which to engage with other women.

The idea of paying to connect with other lesbians might seem a bit off-putting to begin with, but it allows you to cast your net far wider than you might normally. With the facility to limit your sphere of engagement, you can get to know lesbians as locally or as globally as you like.

Check out this article to find out where you can meet other lesbian singles offline in the “real world”!

What to look for in an online relationship

Whether you’re dating in the real world or the virtual one, the first few steps can be heady and exciting. However, this is the point where you need to rein yourself in and be sure that the person you’re talking to is singing from the same hymn sheet.

Don’t put all your cards on the table at once. For example, if you’re a new senior member of the lesbian community, interacting with other gay women can feel liberating and overwhelming. The temptation can be to present yourself on a plate.

It’s worth remembering that, on a lesbian dating platform, your sexuality is secondary to who you are. With the ‘L’ word as a given, what’s more interesting to potential dates are your likes, dislikes, hobbies and interests.

It might seem obvious, but some lesbians forget that their sexuality doesn’t define them entirely. Present yourself as a rounded human being, and you’re likely to attract the kind of interest you want.